In news that shocked everyone in Washington, the Democratic National Committee has replaced its Chairperson, Debbie Wasserman Schultz with Muhammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, better know to an earlier generation as “Bagdad Bob.”
“We were all fond of Debbie” said DNC executive director Patrick Gaspard. “But we felt she lacked the aggressiveness to combat those who oppose his eminence President Obama and his government. Bob is perfect for us.”
At his introductory press conference Muhammed promised a new “air of civility and a commitment to veracity.”
When asked about President Obama’s low poll numbers he said:
These villains, and particularly the villains Bush and Romney will try to defeat President Barack Obama. Not only are they disappointed I think they are hysterical. President Obama is riding 99% positive poll numbers!
The next question that was asked was about the unemployment rate.
Don’t believe the racist teabaggers when they talk of high unemployment. They claim that they - I tell you…I……those unemployment numbers are too far from reality. It it part of the Republicans’ sickness. Unemployment has never been lower. President Obama’s wise policies have created a socialist worker’s paradise.
When pressed about the strength of Romney, the Republicans and the Tea Party al-Sahhaf said:
The stupid enemy, the Republicans and the tea baggers have failed miserably. They are not any place. They are a snake moving in the desert. They hold no place in America. This is an illusion.
al-Sahhaf was then asked about the continuing momentum of the Tea Party movement and that, his assurances to the contrary, they have wide support.
There is no presence of tea baggers in the United States.
He then held up a picture of President Obama at a cabinet meeting.
There. You see. No tea baggers. There is nothing going on. And if we do perchance find a tea bagger they will be burnt. We will tackle them and finish them off.
As the press conference ended a beaming Gaspard told reporters, “You see why we love this man! He tells it like it is!”
Original Post: Manhattan Infidel